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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29751978">awfully loud (smile wiped clean)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/snippinwhippen/pseuds/snippinwhippen'>snippinwhippen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DreamSMP</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(maybe), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Being Lost, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Loves Ranboo, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Lonely Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Multi, Ranboo Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Running Away, Sad Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), abandoned, derealisation, edward loves ranboo, he just doesn’t know it yet, i’ve gotten lost in the sauce help, more will be added when i figure what to put, semi-intentional violence, the end city, unintentional self-harm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:15:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,046</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29751978</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/snippinwhippen/pseuds/snippinwhippen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>he had to leave. he shouldn’t have aided them. he shouldn’t have joined in. he had to. he had to have. he has to leave. he could stay. no. leaving was the best option. he couldn’t pick a side, not if there were no sides where he was going. </p>
<p>the book snapped closed.</p>
<p>—————</p>
<p>ranboo running away au- after he is accused of being a traitor. i don’t know where this is going, neither do you, let’s find out !</p>
<p> </p>
<p>:)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo &amp; Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo &amp; Toby Smtih | Tubbo, mtba</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>383</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. episode 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>just a nice little introduction- actually not really nice.</p><p>probably semi-short, i haven’t written in a while</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the page was glaring, stark and glowing despite the shadows that overcast it. the blank page sliced through his heart, even if it was armed with nothing but a singular word. friends.</p><p>who could he possibly expect to put on the page? not when he didn’t deserve anyone he previously would have chanced, hell, he couldn’t even remember who he would have. it made his heart ache, chewing up his lungs and spitting them out, whisking the air away from him. he couldn’t see through his clouded vision. tears, drying on the page gripped tightly under his fingers, sizzled at his skin.</p><p>he had to leave. he shouldn’t have aided them. he shouldn’t have joined in. he had to. he had to have. he has to leave. he could stay. no. leaving was the best option. he couldn’t pick a side, not if there were no sides where he was going. </p><p>his heterochromatic eyes glanced upwards, dazed and scared. he heaved, stealing air around him in a desperate attempt to calm his spiking nerves. he had to leave. now.  </p><p>no matter how much his heart slowly tore itself in half. no matter as his memories slowly faded away from his grasp, teasingly close. they slipped further away. he couldn’t help something, not if he can’t even remember. with darting eyes and a shuddering huff, he pictured a map in his hazy mind.</p><p>the book snapped closed.</p><p>_________</p><p>“have you seen ranboo?” a voice called through the brisk air, nothing but annoyance thick on his tongue. the eyes that had snapped to the disturbance each rolled their eyes, pointedly ignoring the unsettling breeze that weaves through each of their minds.<br/>
“he forgets.” niki frowned, her eyes downcast and her mouth pulled taut as she grasped in her mind for ease in the upcoming battle. “he’ll show up eventually. he always does.”</p><p>even as the soothing, accented voice drifted through the building, everyone prickled tensely. they knew she was right, ranboo was a mystery, someone who had fell from the sky into the dreamsmp, and immediately left an imprint. ranboo, the kind-hearted and soft-souled ender hybrid. ranboo, the memory man, who carried a useless journal around with him everywhere. haunted. cautious. secretive. </p><p>as they explored the scarily looming threat, discussing their plans. they couldn’t help but have ranboo dancing at the edge of their minds, the hybrid they had shouted at. accused of a traitor. ignored his pleas. chased him away.</p><p>they couldn’t ignore it any further, this was a threat. a threat to both them, l’manburg and the perhaps the dreamsmp as a whole. ranboo was dangerous, a hybrid of all things. set loose on his own, set loose over the entire overworld. niki itched to prepare a search, and with the wary glances from both eret and tubbo, they both couldn’t reach their own scratch. they had to wait. as much as they longed to scan the fields, they knew that the current threat nipping at their heels could not wait. they could only hope that he returned in time.</p><p>with leaves shrouding the windows’ view, and with branches skimming against the glass, the room was thick with silence. they couldn’t wait forever.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. episode 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>second part of the story! escalating,  hey? </p><p>still not the longest i’ll probably write, but i’m doing my best you guys</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the flames that licked around his slim build threatened to carve burn marks into his skin. they left his clothing singed and slowly falling apart. it was lucky, how he had managed to sneak his way through the ongoing war to hide within the dimension so dear to him. he longed to return, yet he swallowed that lingering guilt. this was for the greater good.</p><p>oblong ears flickered against his locks of hair, curious as he explored the view in front of him. he could barely feel the pull of the portal behind him, tugging daintily at his limbs. it was freeing, delivering as he scanned the underworld dimension that expansed before his own eyes. the soft glow of the lava, which popped and crackled in the still air, left a calming aura that filled the usually grim dimension. he rode his gaze away, he had to find a place to stay.</p><p>cautiously, he avoided the crevices that spanned across the horizon, threatening to drag him into the melting heat below. he could only stifle a smirk. </p><p>with the whistle of a ghast, and the grumbles of pigmen around him, he found his own peace. calm. he could feel the slowing of his heart as he enjoyed the voyage he now found himself on. the atmosphere that pressed against his cheeks were dry and familiar, as though it were a weighted blanket that was left to rest on his slim shoulders. he continued his venture.</p><p>with fingers gripping at his communicator, he forcefully lead his eyes away from the messages that dinged, to glance at his coordinates. almost two thousand blocks away now. he should be fine, soon. </p><p>it took another ten minutes for him to reach his favourable location. a lava oasis. gloomy forests, teeming with nether wildlife, surrounded the overhang he would soon call his own. he pushed his way through the scarlet vines that protruded from around him. the sight he was met with was breathtaking, a natural cavern spanned from underneath the overhang. a perfect ground plan for his small house. his new home.</p><p>it was comforting, as the far away cries of a ghast broke the silence around him. he pulled open his bag of belongings, taking inventory of what he had opted to bring so far into the nether alongside him. he breathed a sigh of relief, his axe and  pickaxe both gleamed at the bottom of his bag. rifling through the objects blocking his path, he pulled them both out, objects tumbling out with them. he saved a loaf of bread with his foot, as it teetered close to the lava pit below.</p><p>sliding his pickaxe into his tool belt, he brought the axe to his other hand, holding it in front of him as though it were a treasure. he breathed in the familiar smell of flowers that carried with it. the overworld he had left behind. he heaved it upwards, leaving it to rest against his shoulder blade steadily. he twisted around, ready to head for the warped forest to his left.</p><p>-</p><p>he laboured away, striking at the trees deep in the warped forest. he collected the logs he had previously resourced, happy with the mountain of supplies he currently held with him. with the added weight in his arms, he trudged his way through the slightly sticky soil beneath him, all the way to his new home.</p><p>with a stray stick stuck between his teeth, he planned his new home. start to finish. he pulled apart his supplies, organising them in piles before taking stock of what he needed for his new abode. with the teal wood currently next to him, he grabbed both nether bricks, and dark oak planks. he began to lay his very own foundation, hidden away from the conflict undergoing.</p><p>it was hard. difficult even, to let go of what he once knew. as he prepared his new home, he reminisced.</p><p>his beginning, when he fell from the sky and landed within the dreamsmp, he had been disorientated. scared. he still is sometimes, always even. he had been chased by dream, a stunning first impression that had left him breathless and shaking in his very own skin. soon met by tubbo and tommy. he had never seen two teenagers so alike, yet so different. it was new, yet even as he spent more and more time with the both of those troublemakers, he never got use to it. he sighed, regret swirling like butterflies inside his gut as he realised that he would never see them again— most likely to forget them before he returned— he blinked away tears.</p><p>he scrubbed at his eyes, praying that he could avoid the sting of tears before it became inevitable. it was turmoil. a war within him. it was worry, it was sadness, it was guilt. it was for the best. </p><p>he raked his sleek fingers across his arms, he couldn’t think about it today, not as he created new memories he would soon forget now. not as he built his new home. he teased at his emotions with his fingers, edging to snatch them and push them away to focus on his current activity. he narrowly avoided sending a wood plank reeling at his hand.</p><p>-</p><p>with a half built house, low on materials and a torn heart, ranboo left for the overworld. he needed to grab something, before anyone else could get it. he raced back to the home portal, tripping through the crimson forest that separated both his half finished humble abode, and the rest of the smp.  he swallowed thickly, his tongue heavy in his jaw as he huffed. chest tightening as he raced against the clock. </p><p>he didn’t notice as he slowly felt refreshed, slowly building up his energy even as he ran, slowly he felt his mind grow clearer. it was as though, as he ran, wind heaved at the clouds shrouding his thoughts, leaving it clear, bright, blue.</p><p>he raced for the portal, lavishing at the pull that tugged him back home. he could only wince as the nausea transported him, something he had trouble with for years, almost decades. shoving the urge to throw up deep inside him, he snapped open his eyes to the brisk morning air. rays of sun warmed his body, ranboo winced. he had to be quick.</p><p>he quickly making his way to his house, hopping through the hole he had fought for. his feet pounded against the remaining wood of his long gone house. he rifled through a chest, hands grasping wildly at the object he had travelled so far to obtain.</p><p>he could only wince as tears welled in his eyes, threatening to spill once again as he pulled a lava bucket from his own inventory. now this was for the greatest of good’s. pouring the lava onto a small patch of grass close to him, ranboo flicked through the pages, listening to the light crinkling that followed each flick. he felt himself go stiff, and a tear spiderwebbed down the page. with a disdainful sniff, he threw the leather bound book into the bubbling liquid. unbeknownst to him, as he pearled away quickly, a singular page floated daintily down the hole. it rested on the edge of a granite rock, with a small pencil mark in its top, left corner.</p><p> </p><p>:)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. episode 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>he has a new home? perhaps the plot will thicken?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>he fought tears that threatened to spill as he felt the pull of the portal, the swaying of it scattering his once calm thoughts. ruling them up into what was now a flurry of upset. he brought a gloved hand up to his cheeks, wiping at the tears that sprung, ready to fall onto his hollowed face. </p><p>racing, ranboo took off into the direction of his new abode. checking the coordinates he had hastily scribbled on a piece of paper, he traversed the nether quickly, and almost without mistakes. he managed to lose a gem from his crown, which bounced across the netherrack that covered the walls around him. he felt numb as the blue, opium coloured gem sizzled in the lava. his hands were back at his cheeks.</p><p>he ignored the piglin’ that chased him, due to his lack of gold on his person, and he ignored any, or most obstacles in his way. he couldn’t see. tears no longer quenchable, and despair slowly filling up his heart. threatening to drown him.</p><p>as he slowed to a desperate stop, and the sight of warped wood, stone bricks and obsidian greeted him, the could feel the coil of horror slowly release on his heart. relief now coursing through his muscles. it almost hurt him, just how much he relied on something he hadn’t even planned on. a flick of his ear, and an abrupt whistle of a ghast close to him, he snapped the door open, and slammed it closed.</p><p>he could feel his muscles tensing, he could feel his eyes sting with the need to let it out. he brought a closed fist to the netherrack he was yet to replace with proper wall, feeling it crumble with satisfaction against the force. it only eased his mind for a second. with heaving breaths, and burning tracks falling across his cheeks, he let out a frustrated cry. a cry that bordered inhuman- not that he was human anyway.</p><p>it reminded him of the familiar scene, tubbo smiling at him with a grin just a little too wide. with eyes that sparkled with something just a little to glassy. hazy. unfocused. ranboo had been blind to trust him, to share some of his most valuable secrets with someone. a kid. the president. this wasn’t helping, but his mind carried him further.</p><p>tubbo waving at him from afar, tommy not far behind with a look of mischief and a stack of dynamite clenched in his grubby hands. tubbo sobbing, curled into his chest, a show of vulnerability, that obviously didn’t mean a single thing. the whole facade was so obvious. yet ranboo had fallen for it.</p><p>so desperate for a friend. so lonely that he begged for even a minute of social interaction, despite how much the touches made his skin crawl, or the stares left him unfocused, or the comments that made him shiver. this pathetic ranboo of the past. this ranboo had been too trusting, more often than not ignoring the sacred leather bound book in favour of trusting the ones around him. the ranboo that had been struck in the back by his very own friends.</p><p>all those moment meant nothing. absolutely nothing. the tears only a hallucination, a faked cry for help. a fake. he had thought the dreamsmp better than that, but he isn’t sure why he did in the first place. the way he saw the glimmer in fundy’s eyes as they hunted together. the warmth in niki’s hugs as they met at the bakery. the smiles, the tears, the friendship in tubbo and tommy’s homes as he was greeted within. all of that meant nothing.</p><p>he couldn’t breathe.</p><p>he couldn’t understand why. he couldn’t see why. he shouldn’t have joined. shouldn’t have accepted. it was his fault he was where he is now. it’s his fault they blamed him. he was untrustworthy. he was weird, a freak. it was his fault. his fault. his fault. his fault. his fault. his fault. his fault. his fa-.</p><p>something snapped within him, the whistling he had previously thought of as a ghast bombarded him.</p><p>ranboo was a monster.</p><p>slender fingers slowly crawled their way into his split locks. the slight of his hand sending hair in all directions. </p><p>ranboo shouldn’t be here.</p><p>he wrapped his slender digits around the horns that sat neatly in his hair. the whistling had to stop.</p><p>all his fault- all his fault- all his fault- all his fault- all his fault- all his fault- his fault- his fault- his fault- his fault- his fault- his fault- his fault- his fault- his fault- his fault- his fault- his fault- his fault- his fault- his fault- his fault- hi-</p><p>with surprising force, he surged forward. hands carving into his horns, pushing him forward. straight into the obsidian pillar he had placed earlier. a sickening crack filled the air, and through bleary eyes ranboo could see the dent he had left in the wall. the whistling still hadn’t stopped.</p><p>he surged forward again. and again. and again. again until silver, metallic blood trickled down his forehead. until there was ringing in his ears. until he could see only the blurry outlines of red, blue and black. he cried out. the whistling remained petulant. he had to get it out. </p><p>with one last burst of energy in his sickened haze, he rammed into the obsidian. the crunch of both bone and block merged together, and it would have made someone throw up. if they’d have been there. finally, the whistling halted, as did ranboo’s consciousness. it didn’t take long for him to crumple to the floor, whimpering even in his state of unconsciousness. </p><p>and if a stray enderman, wandering through the netherworld for a taste of adventure, spotted him? scooped up the boy, cradling his bleeding head? whispered comforting enderspeak at him? before disappearing, leaving no trace but violet particles behind? nobody knew. </p><p>it was their fault anyway.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>[ranboo earned an achievement: the end]</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. episode 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>they’ve gotten the message, but it’ll be a lot more challenging than they are bargaining for.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>waking up to the message buzzing on everyone’s communicator was concerning. the whole of the smp was uneasy, unsure of what to feel. should they be relieved? ranboo was alive- and seemingly well, well enough to have entered the end without immediately respawning with a death message. it was difficult to make light of the situation, when the bar for relief was oh so low. </p><p>a few of the members could only push the thought away, hoping that they wouldn’t be receiving a death message, and that perhaps ranboo was living his very own dream in the end. others winced at the message, their guts churning with worry. how on earth did ranboo get through the portal ban? why would he even want to enter the end. ranboo wouldn’t hurt a fly, what would drive him to kill the ender dragon? if at all? what was happening?</p><p>it was hard to believe that everything would sort itself out. there were too many repercussions and possibilities that they couldn’t easily figure it out. as the smp members moved on with their day, they couldn’t ignore the echo of a question, most prominent in their mind. why?</p><p>even as the weather was cheerful, and slowly drifted across the sky, the scenes below were gloomy. upset. rather sad, in general. the radiant sun could only do so much to battle the storm clouds that gustily blew above the heads of everyone in l’manburg, logstedshire, the antarctic empire.. anywhere.</p><p>there was a lingering cloud of anxiety that followed the movement of earth. each glance was full to the brim with concern, others teetering on the edge of crying with relief. just last week they would not have believed that the disappearance of a mysterious fellow could hit them this hard. it was a punch to the gut, really. it left them breathless, it left them ashamed that they were even in such a position, it made them feel wrong.</p><p>and now, as they settled into their routine. whatever that was. there was something missing. maybe it was cheerful hello, or a polite how are you?. the domino effect of his leaving was something even the creator of this server hadn’t seen. the beguiling thoughts of everyone making him weary, despite the power he held as the admin. even he was missing the quiet, lanky boy that would roam around the world he’d moulded with his own hands. those bloodstained hands had tainted him. they had tainted everyone he let into the server. but he never could get a good connection with that enderman, not enough to taint him like the others. he was special, and he couldn’t be lost to the horizon even he hadn’t explored.</p><p>ranboo was an abnormality in the universe, let alone his whole origin, being half endermen, half something. he was dangerous, and everyone should be worried about what he’s doing, now how he got there, or why. but even as frowns pulled at the community’s lips, and tears threatened to spill, dream could only pull on his mask, and hope that the turmoil eating at him didn’t decide to burst his shield. his very own indifference.</p><p>-</p><p>“where’s ranboo?”</p><p>“has anyone seen ranboo?”</p><p>“why is he gone?”</p><p>“he owes me some gold.”</p><p>“had anyone gone to check if the end portal is open?” that broke the camels back, the questions floating between every passing interaction like a gust of wind sent them all tumbling into a freak out. it was uncommon for someone to suggest something so extreme for someone they hadn’t even known well. not that many knew who ranboo really was, other than his persona he appeared with. who knew if they were going to greet when they went searching. </p><p>the end was crawling with endermen, and they were definitely some of the most crafty yet unsettling mob to encounter. with their wide, purple eyes and the void black that stretched across their sleek face. their hunched back, with their vertebrae leaving abnormal lumps across their back. the slender fingers that could grab at you from metres away. their whole figure. and the end was crawling with them, let alone protecting their queen. ender, how had ranboo survived this long?</p><p>they had to make sure he was okay, after all nobody had ever really survived alone and that far away from home.</p><p>was it really home, though?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. episode 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>ranboo’s finally home, but something is hidden at the back of his own mind.</p><p>—————</p><p>HOW DO ITALICS WORK ABAHGSAH</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>thinking back on it, it’s not hard to believe how foolish he had been. how gullible he was, perceiving the world as a forgiving and welcoming place. boy, that was thrown out of the window almost immediately.</p><p>each welcome as he looked back were double-handed. an insult hidden behind a glamorous smile. a wolf in sheep’s clothing. maybe he deserved this fate, no matter how lonely he felt in his own mind. he couldn’t even remember where he was..</p><p>had he even opened his eyes?</p><p>he jolted upwards, split hair hiding his wide eyes from the gaze beside him. his chest heaved. tail curling closer to his body tentatively. </p><p>it was that familiar warble just outside of his view that brought him back from whatever panic left him floating. the comforting vwoop of an endermen, watching, observing, standing watch over him. it was like a weighted blanket resting on his shoulders, he could trust his kin. every time, no matter what, whether he was lost or just confused.</p><p>twisting his body, he winced at the<br/>
pops of his bones, and the creak of the bed he lay on. he brought his eyes onto the enderman that stood guard, resting his gaze on the portrait just behind their head. he hoped they did the same.<br/>
“h-hello?” he croaked, relieved to hear that he automatically flickered to end speak, especially in front of what he could only assume as an elder.</p><p>violet particles erupted from his presence, startling both himself and the elder in front of him. he chuckled awkwardly.</p><p>“hello, little one.” the elder began, reaching a sleek, clawed hand to card through his hair comfortingly, “you’ve been out for a while. we’re glad to see you awake.” </p><p>the end speak was like music to his ears, leaving his body warm, chasing away all the past chills he had previously felt.<br/>
“what happened?” his voice barely a whisper, “where am i? they haven’t found me yet, right?” the words were laced with worry — why would he ask if they found him? who is they? — and the concern that swarmed the elder’s face was almost relieving. the next garbles however, were not.</p><p>“you are safe, little one. we watched as you fled.” they took a breath, “edward has brought you home. edward has brought you back to the end.” </p><p>his eyes flitted around the room before him, his throat dry and his chest swollen. the end? maybe it was a good thing. he took a calming breath. swinging his head back to the elder, flashing them what was hopefully a fanged smile. “thank you.” he softly acknowledged, politely ignoring the lack of answer for his last question. </p><p>his eyes wandered, taking stock of the room he was homed in. he could only assume it was in the medical quarters of the castle, where injured endermen were treated if they were out of the enderworld from a prolonged amount of time. end speak engravings covered the arched rafters, speaking of better times and fleeting lives. even the linen underneath his fingers was familiar, a void of black in such a bright, airy room was a stark contrast. yet it was exactly what the room required. he swung his legs out of the bed, and let his padded feet daintily glide across the cold stone of the floor.</p><p>he ignored the way his arms reached for his face, to hide the nostalgic smile that spread across his lips. </p><p>the dull headache, that pounded in his head long forgotten.</p><p>pushing away from the bed, he was glad that whilst stuck in the ender city, they actually were accustomed to his height, and he didn’t have to bother about bashing his head in. he sighed in relief, yet that quickly turned to a gasp as his vision faded. almost immediately he felt hands support him, preventing him front a ‘catastrophic’ fall — as they would call it.</p><p>“be careful, little one.” the elder called, brushing his shoulders as if he had fallen into dirt, and hadn’t been caught at all. ranboo smiled inconspicuously, “thank you.” </p><p>it was low, a whisper in the wind that flowed through the room, almost unwanting to be heard, “stop that, you are almost too polite for your own good.”</p><p>————</p><p>the city below his window bustled, end speak floating around the castle campus, and the paths around. it was deafening, yet too quiet at the same time. </p><p>he swayed on the spot, palms pressed heavily against the tiled window. his breath fogged up the glass, and he quickly wiped it away with his sleeve. glad to see that he remained in his infamous suit. his claws that scraped against the glass gripped at his suit, scrounging it for any tears or rips with worry. he huffed, happy to see it was in top shape. didn’t he have anything better to worry about?</p><p>sitting on a comfortable chair, he watched the city. the plush pillows behind his back teetering on the edge of poking him, and the floor underneath his feet felt abnormal. the unease that spread across his limbs was almost unbearable, and he dropped his head back into his hands for almost the third time today. he sucked in a heavy breath.</p><p>shutting his eyes closed angrily, he ignored the headache that suddenly spring back into life. questions and swirling thoughts drowned his mind, and he struggled to stay afloat in all the confusion. he felt his breath quicken. his chest heave. his vision flicker.</p><p>a worried hand found it’s way on his knee. when had he begun hugging his knees?</p><p>a different enderman appeared in front of him, begging for him to open his eyes. they seemed to ignore his previous title of ‘little one’.<br/>
“ranboo.“ they shook his knee, “ranboo, open your eyes.” they pleaded, worry flowing out of their words like water, “ranboo, i need you to open your eyes.”</p><p>he couldn’t not give in, it was an elders order. he opened his eyes.</p><p>he jumped into their embrace, breathing quickened and his jaw moving without his own consent.<br/>
“edward. edward, i’m- edward i’m sorry. i’m sorry. edward. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. edward, edward, edward.” the apologies didn’t stop, not even as edward wrapped their long arms around ranboo’s lanky form. squeezing in what they thought to be the best option of comfort. ranboo didn’t squirm.</p><p>“ranboo, you don’t have to<br/>
apologise.” edward sighed, concerned for the boy as he rested his head on their shoulder. their sleek hand patting at the hybrid’s back awkwardly. edward let a small smile grace their face, something that hadn’t happened in a long while. this boy would be the death of them. </p><p>————</p><p>ranboo couldn’t believe his eyes, his body, his room. </p><p> </p><p>he really was back home.</p><p> </p><p>after being barred for so long.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>their smile dropped.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. episode 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>it’s been hours. or centuries? time is weird, but they are running out of it. they all know it.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>the sword was heavy in his hand. the handle too small for his hand, the slight of the blade too long for his build. he swung it forward with a gust of bravado, and brought it towards his opponent. it sliced at heavy, netherite armour that glittered against the voided sky. the arc of his blade stark against the darkness. with a burst of strength, his reach toppled over his opponent. his blade on course to disarm. two swords flying, clashing, struggling for dominance. one gone, the other held at his opponents throat. </p><p>a huff and two taps against the wood below, and the sword rose from its position, back into his holster.</p><p>“seven, two.” he reminded, adjusting the netherite of his own that sat almost light against his shoulders. his opponent smiled, or what resembled a smile, and took off his helmet. “i promise i’m going easy.” his opponent drawled, faux annoyance seeping through his words. he laughed, “as if. i was taught well.”</p><p>his opponent reached forward, grasping at his offered hand and pulled himself up. dust sliding off in clumps from his chestplate and leggings. with a glance upwards, at the void above, and a glance behind him, to the clock that fluttered as seconds passed. <br/>“it’s almost supper, edward. i must be returning.” he sighed, forlornly at his friend. edward shook his head, almost as if to say that he shouldn’t be disappointed. “you better go quick then. auzlin wouldn’t be impressed if you were late.” </p><p>he took a deep breath, his chest heaved after their fight. their dance.</p><p>“bye edward. i’ll catch you later.” he chittered, gloved hands rifling through his locks delicately, he turned away from his friend. long legs bringing him closer towards the castle he had resided since his saving. his ear twitched as the soft call of edward followed him, </p><p>“goodbye, ranboo!”</p><p>———</p><p>saying that they worried about him was an understatement. the end was treacherous, dangerous. you could lose all three lives there in a flash, and you wouldn’t even see it coming.</p><p>tubbo, with nails bit raw, paced around the marketplace. he could have driven a tunnel through the paved flooring with how much he’d been doing that recently. hit hard by ranboo’s disappearance, it was rough. worry had turned to tears, tears drying to anger, anger quenching to reveal what he had become. confused. nobody could disappear like that, without a single trace of where they had gone other than an achievement message. </p><p>the server had turned the overworld upside down, terrorising both the endermen and the villagers over their friend. whether they received irked, concerned or yawning faces, they didn’t stop. it wasn’t hard to overlook edward’s disappearance as well.</p><p>tears pooled at meeting places, shed with all emotions possibly intertwined with ranboo. whether they had unfinished business, or hadn’t spoken in a while, or had spoken too much. the whole server looked, and now, as the search party dwindled, hope was slipping quickly from their grasp. no matter how many times people wiped at their cheeks, or they tried to cry them all, there was always more. an endless supply, and it drove them all insane. </p><p>how do you just lose someone?</p><p>———</p><p>sitting alone at a table was unsettling on its own. now, as the table bustled with the calmer of cutlery against the meal, yet silence still lay like a heavy quilt over them, that was bone-chilling. usually banter filled the air, teases and snide comments lifted the atmosphere. smiles all around.</p><p>something was going on. and even as time passed, and the silence stretched, it wasn’t easy to look past it. with wide eyes, he glanced around at the table. auzlin looked upset, as if something phantom was nipping at his arms. the elder squirmed in his seat. </p><p>chewing at the tough dish, he urged to say something. anything to relieve the building tension at the table. it seemed as though the youngest had that same idea, dropping their fork onto the ceramic plate with a clang, before taking a deep breath,<br/>“mum. dad. know you have something to say. spit it out.”.</p><p>soon chaos erupted, both elders jumping from their seats, at each other’s necks. it was almost uncomfortable, watching them squabble. with hands in his hair, he finally let himself rest his elbows on the table with a sigh. the wood rattling underneath the additional weight. he shook his head. for the time that he had spent here, they had been warm. affectionate. a new home for him. it was awful, to see them argue over something minutely, even he couldn’t gauge just what they were arguing about yet.</p><p>warbles filling the air, the siblings sat on either of his sides shared a disappointed look. shoulders sagging as they both glanced at his hunched form. sefari, the youngest who had spoken before rested her hand on his shoulder. shaking him gently. <br/>“i hope you know what they’re arguing about. you seem like you would know.” she grinned, faux seriousness laced in her words. he couldn’t help but huff with a chuckle. </p><p>he peeked through his split locks, catching auzlin’s eye. he hoped his expression correctly exposed his deadpan. the stare that was returned was solemn. strange and concerning. </p><p>his tail curled instinctively, worried about what he was going to be told. he had only been here for a couple centuries, he could easily be kicked to the curb and told to return back to whence he came from. somewhere he had promised himself he would never see again. he felt his ears droop, something auzlin seemed to pick up on.</p><p>he was offered a tentative smile.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. episode 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>an overworked king is up for quite the surprise. yet neither ranboo or him know it yet.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“common is one of your fluent languages, right?”</p><p>it was shattering, why on earth would auzlin ask him that? of all things? it sent shivers up his spine, as if spiders or other beetles were crawling across his two-toned skin. he winced.</p><p>“it’s been years, but yeah.” he decided was the best option, of three evils. he ran his hand through his hair, compressing a sigh that he hoped no one had heard. nothing good was going to come out of auzlin’s mouth. that question, it lead to bad scenarios, all around, and even with his still faulty — slightly improved — memory, he knew that his life was about to take a turn.</p><p>auzlin spared a glance towards the other elder, yorii, who gave ranboo a soft smile of encouragement, although he could see the hesitance in her eyes. auzlin continued, “we have found a.. good candidate for trade with our kingdom. we have been on good terms, yet we cannot understand each other. they speak common, and only a minority of us are fluent.</p><p>we know it will be dangerous, but you will be accompanied by our best warriors. we hope you can join us. of course we understand if you won’t.”</p><p>it was hard to contain himself. it had been almost a decade since he had left the end, even leaving dora few days at least was enticing. he locked his hands together, resting them on the hardwood table before him, nodding thoughtfully. faux contemplation gave way to warmth, and he barely concealed a squeal, foregoing it with a respectful and simple agreement.</p><p>“i’ll go.” he began, observing as the elders he conversed with lit up. auzlin cracked a smile. “how long will we be gone?” </p><p>auzlin and yorii shared a glance, as though calculating how much time they would need, “about one or two weeks, at least, we believe. however it depends on how well it goes, i suppose.” yorii answered, her voice a melody to his ears since auzlin’s scratchy gruff. ranboo suppressed a grin, nodding for the second time. “i’ll be prepared for when we leave.” he concluded, moving to stand up from his seat.</p><p>yorii cupped her hands around her mouth to inform him, “we sent a letter from one of our very few common speakers, we’ll be leaving next moonrise.” ranboo shook of the nerves shooting up his body, waving his hand and quickly disappearing. particles floating from where he stood.</p><p>———</p><p>packing his bags meticulously, it hit ranboo just how much of an adventure he was in for. it had been a decade. a whole ten years since he left this island in the void. ten years since he had spoken anything other than end speak. he should probably practice. </p><p>pulling his sheets from his bed, searching for his stuffed phantom plushie, he held a conversation with himself in common. something itched at the back of his mind, this whole back and forth with himself, it reminded him fo something. something unsettling? he couldn’t place it, so he continued. folding clothes, preparing his sanitary products, packing them tightly into his bags, he spoke. small talk, heavy topics, anything he could remember.</p><p>tucking himself into his bed, it wasn’t hard to notice his vocabulary of common that he remembered. he could hold a long conversation, or so he thinks he could. who knows what this kingdom could say. </p><p>ender, who would he even talk to? </p><p> </p><p>a scribe?<br/>an official?<br/>a knight?</p><p> </p><p>a king?</p><p>———</p><p>accepting this deal was probably the best option. the kingdom was thriving as is, the tournaments at an all time high, the rewards attracting more and more to the stands. contestants reigned supreme, others shameful over their loss, yet antsy to snap up a victory. it was entertaining. the crowd always exciting even as the king roamed through the stands, his cape flowing behind him.</p><p>the only thing they had required was something they could not obtain. stuck in their own server, their opportunities struck down by the ban of an end portal from previous kings. they required chorus fruit. a special<br/>celebration was rearing, something organised to honour the Five year anniversary of their king. the ruthless contender. with a win streak of over fifty. </p><p>the one dish that was served to the king, worth millions of coins, something only served when they survived this long. compiled of golden apples, chorus fruit, suspicious stew and cooked rabbit, it was served once in a blue moon. they had high stocks of the ingredients, all but one. chorus fruit.</p><p>their crates of it had slowly diminished as smaller celebrations passed. and now, with only a singular left, they were lacking in its reserve. they would need to top it up, or the celebration would fall flat of another king were to be served it.</p><p>the king had contemplated fetching it himself, yet with a kingdom to protect, and well, run, he couldn’t leave on a trip to the end for months on end. the place would turn upside down on its head. so he had shouldered it away, and reached out to the only community that could get in and out. the ender kingdom. </p><p>and now, as he sat on his thrown, a letter in his grasp. he read through it carefully, the broken common speak almost unprofessional, even as he knew that common was not their first language. he huffed, the cape folding over his shoulders.</p><p>he would meet them, at their kingdom entrance. they had mentioned a name, although it had been written in end speak, it seemed familiar. yet he brushed it off, placing the sharp letter opener previously held in his hand back on the tray one of his knights held. he folded the course paper in half, then into thirds before slipping it into his cloak.</p><p>abruptly, he stood up from his thrown, the outfit he wore uncomfortable and itchy against his skin. he longed to be back into casual attire, yet he pinched at his face, and held a stony glare. with a whip of his cape, he turned and headed down the elegant halls of his castle. books clunking heavily against the carpet under foot, he traversed the walls. </p><p>the floor gave out from underneath him, and as if he was expecting it, he refused to flinch. the hidden stairway now revealed in front of him, he made his way hurriedly downwards. gold and lapis jewels and chains clattering together, and the crown atop his head sat wonky. huffing a relieved breath, he reached a comforting door.</p><p>rasping his fist against the door in a secret pattern, something quick and hard to replicate. the locks behind the door clicked, and it revealed the room before him. the door held open by one of his most trusted knights, and one of his bestest of friends. waving a silent greeting, he levelled the other knights with an unimpressed look. monopoly sat on their coffee table, pieces strewn across the board, and sheets of money floated through the air innocently.</p><p>they smiled back at him, and with a yawn, he ran a hand through his messy locks. letting it slide against his skin sleepily. today had been busy, constructing a blueprint for another king cabin had taken up majority of his day, the rest of it preparing for the arrival the end kingdom. whether that had been through general cleaning, or welcoming decorative decisions, he had expended too much of his energy. </p><p>his friends followed his path with a sense of sympathy, one resting her hand delicately on his shoulder. they knew just how stressful being king was, supporting him through either his vents, or through his sleepless nights. they guided him in his tired haze, something only the inhabitants of the castle, and them had seen. he prepared to flop onto the bed they kept in their hideout, and they dimmed the lights.</p><p>they shared worried looks, and watched as he removed his cloak. the jewels he was required to wear clanking together as they left their positions, his crown next. the vest tightly wrapped around him was quickly removed, with a little help with another of his friends with her nimble fingers. left in just a satin tunic, and his flowing pants he pulled of his heavy boots. delicately searching for blisters that may have formed due to their toughness. he barely concealed the wince, as he reminisced on his old, word boots he had used to fight in. he rolled back his shoulders, and tucked himself into the bed. sheets pooled around him, and with a face buried in the cold pillow, he quickly became a lump in the blankets.</p><p>within seconds he was out like a light. snoring softly, and huffing against the pillow.</p><p> </p><p>they were rightfully worried. he used to be so full of energy.</p><p> </p><p>they should be. it was concerning.</p><p> </p><p>“goodnight, sleep well.”</p><p>no response.</p><p> </p><p>they knew he wouldn’t.</p>
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